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Grief
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Finding the Light

A Gentle Upswing from Manic Depression

Today is not going to last forever. Today is a good day. Surprisingly, for the first time in months, I haven’t been able to pick out a few moments of pure joy to focus on. My day has been pure-joy, scattered with moments to watch float away, as I release them and soak in the […]

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This Feels Wierd

Complicated Grief Through Bloodshot Eyes (Part 2)

There’s this duality to everything I’ve experienced in the last week. Aching heartache. Overwhelming relief. A constant lump in my throat and a very limited ability to actually cry. Remorse. Joy. Gladness and anger. Confusion. Raw, savage clarity—the kind you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Goes something like this. Trigger (and there’s a million […]

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What the Fuck?

Complicated Grief Through Bloodshot Eyes

“I don’t know man.” “This sucks.” “What the fuck.” “I just don’t get it.” “I don’t know.” I have repeated each of these about a billion times since Friday afternoon. For a period it felt like all I was capable of saying. It’s Monday. My husband had to go back to work, and I have […]

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